I love watching soaps. I really do. I grew up with them. But there are just some (or many) things that will irk me to no end. These probably keep the show interesting and make the whole thing work but sometimes I just wish they’d offer us something different, something new, something that makes more sense.
Note: LM - leading man, LL - leading lady
1. Child is separated from parents during infancy or early childhood
TVlandia is full of children looking for their true parents and vice versa. Switched babies in the hospital, separated by a tragedy. kidnapped at birth, etc. There are a million ways to separate the kid from the parents but apparently only one way to start a soap and that is to have this premise. They go on with their lives looking each other, they meet not knowing they’re related. Insert “You remind me of my lost kid” conversations.
2. Fake DNA results
Since there are tons of kids who got separated from their true parents, only a DNA test would prove that they’re indeed related. This will be manipulated of course.
Lead star gets into an unfortunate accident which makes him forget all his memories. He/she goes MIA, possibly develops a new love interest until he recovers and then will go back to expose a revelation.
4. Lead star turns into a sophisticated, intelligent and revenge-ready individual after a few training sessions
I’m not saying you can’t learn to be classy or smart. But seriously, a few meetings and lessons with the experts and voila, you’re good to go?
5. Leading man gets drunk/drugged and have sex with another girl
So LM gets invited to a party or a club and has too much alcohol or someone put sleeping pills or whatever on his drink. He becomes dizzy, unconscious and then taken to a room where he may or may not have sex with a girl. This could be a girl hired by the bitter ex-girlfriend or the ex-girlfriend herself. Less extreme version would be LM caught kissing another girl. LM wakes up claiming he remembers nothing. LL eventually finds out (someone would send her photos) and breaks up w/ LM or..
6. Leading man impregnates another girl
LL decides to forgive LM for accidentally cheating on her but then they found out that the girl is preggy and that LM is the father. This could be true or just another plan hatched by the bitter ex-girlfriend. LL and LM break up or desperately try to save their relationship but the baby’s getting in the way.
7. Leading man and leading lady are siblings
LM and LL are happily in love and everything’s perfect. But wait, they suddenly discover that they are related by blood and can’t be together anymore. It is with a heavy heart that we watch them control their feelings for each other and slowly drift apart. They try to hook up with other people but can’t get over each other . In the end, they find out it was all a big hoax and they go back to each other’s arms.
8. Friend-zoned other guy/girl turns evil
It’s the buddy the LM/LL had since childhood or the BFF that was always there for him/her but somehow never fallen in love with. Resentment and bitterness eventually consumes this person and next thing you know, he/she is conniving with LM/LL’s worst enemies to bring them down and have LM/LL for himself/herself. He/she will do anything and everything to own LM/LL and take him/her away from his/her true love. How annoying is it to see the goody-goody friend turn all sinister? Ugh.
9. Villain pretends to be good and everybody falls for it
The villain manipulates everyone into thinking he/she is kind-hearted and the rest are just too naive and gullible to think otherwise. Villain will make lead star look bad or slowly destroy everything that matters to lead star.
10. Villain is a long-lost relative
The person LM/LL has been despising since the start of the show appears to be his/her sister or brother or parent.
11. Syndicates. Syndicates everywhere.
Preferably drug lords, smugglers and gangsters. There’s a big secret mafia organization where the villain is a member of. It’s almost like a requirement for every soap. Oh wait, I think it is.
12. Hospital scene
They make you feel like the lead star’s gonna die. "Ito na ba ang katapusan ni [insert-lead-star’s-name-here]?" Abangan." Like duh. Although there are some cases where the lead star does die, most soaps don’t go this direction because they don’t wanna face fan rage. There will be a chapel scene where the loved ones desperate beg God to save the lead star. Then, flat line and everyone’s already panicking and crying hysterically. Then, the lead star magically awakens.
13. Airport scene
Or basically a terminal scene where the lead star decides to finally leave the country and move on and “find himself/herself”. His/her partner contemplates on stopping him/her but waits until the last minute before he/she decides to run after LM/LL. They reunite in a dramatic slow-mo while a love song is playing in the background.
14. Guns and Goons Finale
They would brand it as "maaksyong, naglalagablab na pagtatapos" or something like that. The lead stars would be kidnapped or his/her loved-ones will be put in a life-threatening situation. There will be a rescue mission of course and the lead star would try to save his partner or family member alone. There would be a confrontation with the villain, they fight and the villain dies or gives up. Then the police will will arrive just in time to pick up the body or bring the villain to prison.
GIFs/photos not mine. Credit goes to respective owners.
Because of Haiyan’s very recent devastation, please consider contributing to first-respondents efforts:
If you’re looking for someone missing in the Philippines, or if you have information about someone there, Google.org has launched the Typhoon Yolanda Person Finder. A Google crisis map has also been added to detail evacuation centers and areas designated for relief.
Charities and nongovernmental organizations (NGOs) from around the world are responding to this disaster. Many are detailed below with how they’re providing aid and how you can help them make a difference.
The Salvation Army is on the ground serving storm survivors, primarily with food, water and shelter. Emergency Disaster Service teams have been providing help since the typhoon hit, but are challenged by the lack of accessible roads to transport goods and medical supplies. The non-profit has set up a designated fund for Haiyan relief efforts, which you can access here. You can also make a donation by calling 1-800-SAL-ARMY (1-800-725-2769).
The American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee (JDC) is working with local authorities, the Filipino Jewish community and their global partners to assist in providing for survivors’ immediate needs. You can support their efforts online or by phone at 1-212-687-6200.
CARE's emergency response teams are coordinating with local partners in the Philippines to provide food, water, shelter and health care for those in need. Their teams in Vietnam are preparing for the potential need there as Typhoon Haiyan continues its devastation. You can support CARE's efforts on their website, or by phone at 1-800-521-2273 within the United States or +1-404-681-2252 outside the U.S.
Catholic Relief Services, the official international humanitarian agency of the Catholic community in the U.S., is on the ground helping with water purification, shelter materials and essential living supplies. You can donate to the organization’s efforts online or you can call 1-877-435-7277. You can also type in your phone number on the website and a representative will call you back to take your donation.
Convoy of Hope's Global Disaster Response Team has shipping containers full of food and supplies on the way to the Philippines. The organization is preparing more supplies to be sent like canned goods, hygiene kits and water filtration units. You can visit Convoy of Hope's website to donate funds to their efforts or call 1-417-823-8998.
Mercy Corps is preparing to deliver food, water, temporary shelter and other basic supplies to devastated areas throughout the Philippines. You can support the organization by donating through their website, PayPal, or by calling 1-888-747-7440.
Oxfam America aid teams are on the ground in northern Cebu, northern and eastern Samar and Leyte, in the Eastern Visayas region in the Philippines. They’re working to provide immediate access to water and sanitation materials. You can support this effort by donating online to their Typhoon Haiyan Relief and Recovery Fund, or by phone at 1-800-776-9326.
Adventist Development and Relief Agency's (ADRA) emergency response team is working in Manila and in the province of Bohol to provide food, emergency relief and medical aid to those in need. They have launched an emergency appeal that you can support online or by phone at 1-800-424-2372.
The International Rescue Committee (IRC) has dispatched an emergency team to Manila and launched a $10 million appeal in order to ensure immediate needs like safe water, hygiene and sanitation are met. If you would like to contribute to their efforts, click here.
Operation Blessing International (OBI) has deployed disaster relief teams in multiple locations following the massive devastation from Typhoon Haiyan. The organization is providing clean water and food, emergency shelter materials and medical assistance. To help the charity’s mission, you can make a contribution on their website.
Food and water
The World Food Programme was already providing emergency food assistance in the Philippines following the October earthquake. With these emergency food stocks stretched thin, they’re now mobilizing additional supplies and are flying in 40 tons of fortified biscuits in the coming days. Additional food supplies are needed. You can help these efforts by donating online or by calling 1-202-747-0722 domestically or +39-06-65131 for international calls.
Samaritan’s Purse has sent disaster relief specialists, including water and nutrition experts, to the Philippines to deliver immediate aid. They have launched the Philippines Emergency Relief fund for this disaster, which you can support online or by phone at 1-828-262-1980.
World Vision is responding in the Philippines by first providing emergency food and clean water. They will also work to create child-friendly spaces and help families rebuild from this disaster. They have launched a Philippines Disaster Response Fund that you can support online or by calling 1-888-511-6443.
Action Against Hunger is on the ground providing drinking water and survival kits containing buckets, soap and chlorine tablets. They’re also working to distribute sanitation equipment to prevent outbreaks of waterborne diseases. They’re requesting assistance and you can help by donating online or by calling 1-877-777-1420.
ShelterBox was already in the Philippines providing shelter after the 7.2 earthquake that hit Bohol on October 15. They are now expanding their operations to provide tents and essential equipment for families left homeless after Typhoon Haiyan. You can support their work in the Philippines either online or by calling 1-941-907-6036.
Habitat for Humanity is already providing help to 30,000 families with shelter repair kits to rebuild their damaged homes. You can support this work by donating from the Philippines to their Re-Build Philippines Fund or from the U.S. by contributing to their Disaster Response Fund. You can also make a donation by phone at 1-800-HABITAT.
Architecture for Humanity is mobilizing to assist with post-disaster reconstruction and the organization’s working with local architects to identify the most critical rebuilding needs. You can support their Super Typhoon Haiyan Response online, by calling 1-415-963-3511 or by texting REBUILD to 85944 to make a $10 donation from your mobile phone.
Americares has an emergency shipment on the way to the Philippines with enough medical aid for 20,000 survivors, including antibiotics, wound care supplies and pain relievers. You can support Americares with an online donation or by calling 1-800-486-4357.
International Medical Corps has pre-positioned medical supplies and their team is on the ground coordinating with their partners in the Philippines to distribute and provide medical aid. You can support their Typhoon Haiyan Emergency Response fund online or by calling 1-800-481-4462.
More than 1.5 tons of emergency medicine and medical supplies are en route to the Philippines from Direct Relief. The supplies include antibiotics, pain relievers, nutritional supplements, antifungal medications, wound dressings and chronic disease medicines. You can call in your donation by dialing 1-805-964-4767 or you can go online to support the organization.
Médecins Sans Frontières/Doctors without Borders (MSF) have emergency teams in Cebu city with an additional 50 people including medical personnel, logisticians and psychologists arriving in the Philippines in the next few days. They’ll bring tents, supplies of drugs, medical equipment and material to purify water, as well as essential plastic sheeting, cooking items and hygiene kits. Teams will monitor possible outbreaks of infectious diseases. An additional cargo is being prepared due to leave later this week from Bordeaux with an inflatable hospital and medical material. You can make your donation by calling 1-212- 763-5779 or online.
The U.S. Fund for UNICEF is helping children and their families in the Philippines receive shelter, clean water, nutrition and vaccines. Their emergency response can be supported online or by calling 1-800-367-5437. You can also donate directly to UNICEF in the Philippines here.
Save the Children is offering disaster relief support for children in the Philippines, Laos and Vietnam after Typhoon Haiyan. The charity has pre-positioned relief material kits for children and families, which will include toiletries, household cleaning items, temporary school tents and learning materials. You can support their Philippines Annual Monsoon and Typhoon Children in Emergency Fund online. You can also donate by phone at 1-800-728-3843.
Emergency response teams from ChildFund International prepositioned supplies, including emergency kits and tents, and made arrangements with local suppliers to access food and non-food relief supplies. The organization is also preparing to setup child- centered spaces where kids can feel safe. Donate to ChildFund online to help children cope and recover confidence after this disaster.
Teams from Plan are also on the ground responding to the needs of children and their families. Their priorities are vulnerable youngsters and communities in rural locations. You can support their appeal on their website.
In a matter of hours on Friday, Typhoon Haiyan completely devastated parts of the central Philippines. It was one of the strongest storms ever recorded. The death toll is estimated up to 10,000 with hundreds of thousands more displaced. The country has declared a “state of calamity.”