I love watching soaps. I really do. I grew up with them. But there are just some (or many) things that will irk me to no end. These probably keep the show interesting and make the whole thing work but sometimes I just wish they’d offer us something different, something new, something that makes more sense.
Note: LM - leading man, LL - leading lady
1. Child is separated from parents during infancy or early childhood
TVlandia is full of children looking for their true parents and vice versa. Switched babies in the hospital, separated by a tragedy. kidnapped at birth, etc. There are a million ways to separate the kid from the parents but apparently only one way to start a soap and that is to have this premise. They go on with their lives looking each other, they meet not knowing they’re related. Insert “You remind me of my lost kid” conversations.
2. Fake DNA results
Since there are tons of kids who got separated from their true parents, only a DNA test would prove that they’re indeed related. This will be manipulated of course.
Lead star gets into an unfortunate accident which makes him forget all his memories. He/she goes MIA, possibly develops a new love interest until he recovers and then will go back to expose a revelation.
4. Lead star turns into a sophisticated, intelligent and revenge-ready individual after a few training sessions
I’m not saying you can’t learn to be classy or smart. But seriously, a few meetings and lessons with the experts and voila, you’re good to go?
5. Leading man gets drunk/drugged and have sex with another girl
So LM gets invited to a party or a club and has too much alcohol or someone put sleeping pills or whatever on his drink. He becomes dizzy, unconscious and then taken to a room where he may or may not have sex with a girl. This could be a girl hired by the bitter ex-girlfriend or the ex-girlfriend herself. Less extreme version would be LM caught kissing another girl. LM wakes up claiming he remembers nothing. LL eventually finds out (someone would send her photos) and breaks up w/ LM or..
6. Leading man impregnates another girl
LL decides to forgive LM for accidentally cheating on her but then they found out that the girl is preggy and that LM is the father. This could be true or just another plan hatched by the bitter ex-girlfriend. LL and LM break up or desperately try to save their relationship but the baby’s getting in the way.
7. Leading man and leading lady are siblings
LM and LL are happily in love and everything’s perfect. But wait, they suddenly discover that they are related by blood and can’t be together anymore. It is with a heavy heart that we watch them control their feelings for each other and slowly drift apart. They try to hook up with other people but can’t get over each other . In the end, they find out it was all a big hoax and they go back to each other’s arms.
8. Friend-zoned other guy/girl turns evil
It’s the buddy the LM/LL had since childhood or the BFF that was always there for him/her but somehow never fallen in love with. Resentment and bitterness eventually consumes this person and next thing you know, he/she is conniving with LM/LL’s worst enemies to bring them down and have LM/LL for himself/herself. He/she will do anything and everything to own LM/LL and take him/her away from his/her true love. How annoying is it to see the goody-goody friend turn all sinister? Ugh.
9. Villain pretends to be good and everybody falls for it
The villain manipulates everyone into thinking he/she is kind-hearted and the rest are just too naive and gullible to think otherwise. Villain will make lead star look bad or slowly destroy everything that matters to lead star.
10. Villain is a long-lost relative
The person LM/LL has been despising since the start of the show appears to be his/her sister or brother or parent.
11. Syndicates. Syndicates everywhere.
Preferably drug lords, smugglers and gangsters. There’s a big secret mafia organization where the villain is a member of. It’s almost like a requirement for every soap. Oh wait, I think it is.
12. Hospital scene
They make you feel like the lead star’s gonna die. "Ito na ba ang katapusan ni [insert-lead-star’s-name-here]?" Abangan." Like duh. Although there are some cases where the lead star does die, most soaps don’t go this direction because they don’t wanna face fan rage. There will be a chapel scene where the loved ones desperate beg God to save the lead star. Then, flat line and everyone’s already panicking and crying hysterically. Then, the lead star magically awakens.
13. Airport scene
Or basically a terminal scene where the lead star decides to finally leave the country and move on and “find himself/herself”. His/her partner contemplates on stopping him/her but waits until the last minute before he/she decides to run after LM/LL. They reunite in a dramatic slow-mo while a love song is playing in the background.
14. Guns and Goons Finale
They would brand it as "maaksyong, naglalagablab na pagtatapos" or something like that. The lead stars would be kidnapped or his/her loved-ones will be put in a life-threatening situation. There will be a rescue mission of course and the lead star would try to save his partner or family member alone. There would be a confrontation with the villain, they fight and the villain dies or gives up. Then the police will will arrive just in time to pick up the body or bring the villain to prison.
GIFs/photos not mine. Credit goes to respective owners.
THIS! This blog entry is hilariously true! Lahat ng sentiments, comments, hinanakit, disappointments, etc about the soap.. andito! And I must say, her delivery was very entertaining and pak na pak lang ang mga sinabi niya.